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So, you had this conversation, and five minutes later you think of the perfect put down. It happens to every single one of us. Sure, a few people are able to come up with witty remarks on the fly. For the rest of us, it’s a skill that needs to be developed.

Coming up with good insults is an example of this. Any idiot can resort to profanity or pathetic comments aimed at the person’s mother. A good, creative insult will hit home far more accurately, not to mention entertaining those around you.

Here are a few things to consider when coming up with a good insult, such as the politician who categorized Neil Gaiman as a ‘pencil-necked weasel’. You should think of the person’s appearance and character. Instead of calling somebody a ‘dumbass’, how about ‘You’re so stupid you think War And Peace is a doorstop’. Or how about ‘You’re so ugly mirrors cover themselves when you walk by’. See. That’s much better. Practice is very important in learning to insult in a creative manner. So is perception. Does the person have a huge nose? An odious personal habit? Just about everyone has something you can insult about them.